Walls....

He tells me that he loves me

He tells me that I'm beautiful

He tells me that I'm a good mother

He tells me that I'm what he has been looking for...

I look down at my freshly painted finger nails, roll my eyes, twist my lips, and suck my teeth...Not because I don't accept his compliments but because I'm afraid to give in! He tells me that I have walls built up around me that I use to defend myself... but these walls are also a comforting measure. When everything around me starts to fall down...my walls are like crutches for me to lean on...they preserve me...they prevent me from falling to far to the ground. I kind of like my walls...but I know that I will have to lower them (with caution) as time goes on. It's even hard for me to give in and admit I love this man...I tell myself I can't it's too soon, I need to becareful, he might hurt me. I must admit..I tell him I love him, even though at times it can be scary, but last night I held him for a long time and I knew with all my being that he is the right one. People may be skeptical, doubtful, unsupportive, or down right mean and think he is not good for me..but in my heart I believe he is perfect. He has the most beautiful smile that I have ever seen..it's full of love, sincerity, and sexiness! Some men have came and they all have went..but HIM...I'm keeping close by. The only issue is these walls I have built..they are preventing me from giving my all, from allowing myself to be the loving women I can be, they are stopping me from getting closer to HIM. Im sure in time they will start to come down..I believe that I have already let them begin to come down..becasue he holds a special place in my heart....

I tell him that I love him

I tell him that I want him around

I tell him his presence is always appreciated

I tell him that he makes my heart happy