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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Growth

Someone once told me that Black girls don't cry..That person did not tell the truth or was afraid to admit the truth...The reality is Black girls do cry and I am one of them. My journey to a quarter of a century has been filled with much crying especially in the past three years of my life. I have failed alot, made  mistakes, got arrested, but learned alot. Growth is essential in every thing we do and I have grown tremendously from the past three years of my life. Iyanla Vanzant (who I love to quote) says "Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change". I have been blessed to come in contact with some comrades who told me to look at my inner self and grow from that. Everything in life is a learning lesson, even the hardest obstacles are a lesson. I am currently expecting a second child, which was a "surprise" to say the least and the pregnancy has been a roller coaster ride filled with emotions. But more importantly it has provided me with some of the greatest lessons ever.

One lesson I have learned is unconditional love, I didn't believe in that concept until recently. My love for my child and unborn child is greater than any love I have ever known. I have been able to see things clearly and make decisions for the sake of my children. I had to leave some people behind, letting them know that their issues and insecurities were not my problem and I have to focus on raising my flowers. I am determined to allow them to grow in a healthy, stress free, and loving environment even if it means cutting "family" members out.

The second lesson I have learned is that I can't solve the problems for a loved one. Even though I may love you with deep and sincere feelings of love, I can't help you solve your problems. You have to do it on your own. I hope the person this is directed to is reading this. Insecurities, past issues, and arrogance is in your way to being a wonderful person. I can't struggle with you and overturn contradictions if you aren't honest, if you don't want to heal yourself from your past, if you are too self centered to see that you are your own problem. While, I would love to solve all your problems for you my womb is aching for attention and my flower is in need of her mother's attention.

The third lesson I have learned is letting go. Letting go is a painful lesson for any person to learn. To let go is to release yourself from the energies that bring you and something else together. Letting go is hard and requires great strength and discipline. I am currently, still learning letting go but I have learned it to such a point where I can put things behind me and move forward. "The only way to get what you want is to let go of what you don't want" Iyanla Vanzat...
From this point on every time I am tempted to live in the past I will say that quote or another quote to remind myself that the pleasures of letting go will come soon.

Stay tuned I am still learning, growing, and reaching for a higher level of understanding..As the flower in my womb grows..I grow...As my first flower grows....I grow

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