Insecurities

There are times when I close my mouth and hold my breath because I am afraid for someone to even here me breathe let alone speak! I battle with myself over this...I feel like I have many great thoughts, ideas, visions, dreams, etc...that I can tell people about. My insecurities hold me back from achieving greatness and probably from inspiring others. Throughout my life I had to deal with all my insercurities and feelings of not being "good" enough. At one point I hated my freckles, my hair, my hairy legs, my feet, my voice, and so many other qualities about myself....I have now come to the point where I love myself and my body most of the time! After having a baby,  my stomach was not what it was and for a while even up to now I still struggle with this issue but I remind myself that I am beautiful every day.  It's so important as Black women that we do remind ourselves and each other of how beautiful we are because society tells us to hate ourselves for who we really are. I'm tired of being insecure and holding back, I want to be free and be able to say how I feel without being afraid of what may happen. I want to be able to scream to the top of my lungs and stomp hard with the soles of my feet. I want to break free from all these insecure ways and stop doubting myself...I want to be me. I hold a light in my heart and in 2011 I will let it shine.....Peace

Oh how time has passed...

Time has passed so much since I wrote my last blog entry. I have done some things and watched a few good movies. I really missed my blog...this is my outlet. I need to take time to write on my blog at least a few times a week!! Im on my phone typing this write now so hopefully everything is spelled correctly!! Anyway I cant wait until the new year because I will be updating and doing some new things with my life and of course my blog... Stay tuned I have movie reviews, random blogs, and some touching stories to share. Peace

Black Women Love Thyself

Black woman why are you sad, why are you steadily doubting yourself, why are you crying, why are you pretending to be happy? Black women have so many issues to face in the world we live in from sexism, racism, negative imagery, and everything else under the sun. This is the reason why it is so important that we take time to reflect on why we are great and to love ourselves. Self love is so essential to living a prosperous and beautiful life, yet so many Black women do not truly love their selves. I am no different from any other Black woman I have struggled and still struggle with this concept of loving myself and learning to understand myself more clearly. A lot of Black women have been in relationships that tore up whatever self esteem they had and left them filling lower than low. A lot of Black women are constantly trying to fight stereotypes of being a hoe, a bad mother, a ghetto chick, and a welfare baby mama. Even when we we aren't any of these things we find ourselves being constantly labeled one of these titles.  Sometimes it seems as if the whole world is against Black women, the media constantly shows us as promiscuous women who will sleep with anyone who has a nice car and clothes. Many Black men degrade us by mental, physical, and emotional abuse then leave us to raise children alone. Some of our parents have never been in our lives and to top it all off our employers look at us differently.  How can we survive in a world of such hatred towards us, how can we maintain our sanity and find happiness when so many things are against us....Where do we go?? 

It is so important that Black women start loving their selves and in turn start loving our sisters....let's stop staring at each other because of our clothes, hair, man, or other bull shit materialistic things. Instead replace that icy glare with a beautiful smile and a warm hello! Lets start building with our sisters, have sister circles where a group of women can come together and talk about anything without feeling ashamed. bell hooks speak on the importance of these type of circles because this is where we can come together and let go all of our pain and sorrow. Start a book club where inspirational books are read each week to build our spirits higher. Tell your sisters they are beautiful so they can get used to hearing it without it coming from a man! Lastly, never judge your sister always have a open heart and open mind to listen to her problems.

Cause you're beautiful like a flower

More valuable than a diamond

You are powerful like a fire

You can heal the world with your mind

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah you, who are brilliant
Yeah you, who are powerful
Yeah you, who are resilient

 India Ariehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zbn7Khv8zM

Movie Madness: American Violet

American Violet is a powerful movie and shows the realities of the injustices of our legal system.  In American Violet a young single Black mother of four is wrongly accused of selling drug in a school zone. She is forced to plead  guilty because she has to go home and take care of her children and is scared to face the judge who may sentence her to 16-25 years. I don't really want to tell the whole movie because I would prefer if everyone would watch this movie because it is based on a true story but we all know how corrupt the system is.

 This Saturday I was at a demonstration for Askia Sabur who was beat by the police and then jailed after he had to recieve stitches in his head.  This story is not an unfamiliar story in the Black community, I have seen the police harass countless Black women, men, and even our children. Just last week there were eight white officers standing outside a Black middle/high school claiming there was supposed to be a fight after school!!  Their presence was very intimidating to many of the students, teachers, and parents...many people thought something had happened already! The harrassment of police officers is a on going problem and sometimes it looks as if there is no end to the abuse. The reality is cops are cops it does not matter if they are Black or white because Black cops are sometimes worse than their white counterparts!!

The question is what are we suppossed to do when police harass us?? This is not ever going to be an easy answer but its important for Black people to have some knowledge about the law and know what we are legally allowed to do and cops have no right to change the laws. If a cop is harrassing you take the BADGE NUMBER this is important many cops believe Black folks do not have any sense about what to do when they are being harrassed. If someone has a camera, phone, or any other recording device make sure to record the situation...this is evidence!! Most importantly remain calm because these damn cops will charge you with disorderly conduct/disturbing the peace and do not threaten the officer because threatning an officer is a crime!!  It is important that we do all we can to expose these crooked cops and their racist legal system, we should never sit back and act as if it is not happening. Report every single cop that harrasses you and please make sure you keep all paperwork from the reporting process so you can follow up and stay on their behinds! Most importantly educate yourself about this legal system because in reality cops do not know a damn thing about the legal system they are just puppets for the courts, lawyers, and politicians!

Peace

Where is the love?

LOVE is.....

Sometimes I sit back and wonder about this thing called love. Why is it when you are in love you experience some of the most painful situations you have ever been through? Talking with a few of my lady friends who happen to be married, dating, and single I have heard so many hurtful stories about the men in their lives. One of my friends talked about not hearing from her boyfriend for weeks for no apparent reason and she questioned why her?  Another one of my friends talked about the confusion that she was feeling from a  guy who said he liked her but acted otherwise. I don't understand how so many women do so much for the men in their lives and many times get so little in return. Black women take care of so many people in our lives from our mothers, fathers, children, sisters, brothers, and of course our men...but who is there for us when we need to be catered to? Many times black women need a shoulder to cry on, a ear that is willing to listen, a friend that wants to give good advice, but many times we don't have these support systems and many times we are afraid to show are "weak" side. As a black women I have seen many of my fellow sisters hurt by men, I have witnessed to many crying, fighting, and complaining over men. It's time that we begin to get rid of negativity in our lives including the men and begin to put ourselves first. Take time to read a book, pray, exercise, cut your phone and computer off, have a girls night, do anything that makes you happy!  When you begin to have true love for yourself your whole life will begin to fall into place.  We have to stop allowing men to have complete control of our thoughts and actions and begin to make room for ourselves...

Motown Girl Spotlight of the Week!!

This is a quick post due to excitement!

I will be featured on Motown Girl Spotlight of the Week!

Thank You Motown Girl

I hope all the beautiful natural sistas check me out!

Peace Motown Girl Spotlight of the Week!!

Movie Madness: City of God

Ok I don't even know where to start..But this is one of the best movies that I have ever seen!! If you are into indy and foreign movies this movie is a must see!! Cidade de De aka City of God is a housing project in Rio de Janeiro that was ran by drug lords.  This movie spans through three decades of boys/men trying to be the "King" of the drug world in City of God. The main character is Buscape who is a photographer who is afraid to end up like the people that surrounds him and he tells the story of countless people who were involved in the drug trade. This movie will have your mouth open and begging the movie to keep going because you will not want it to end. The actors in the movie are beautiful, they act with passion!!  An added bonus of the movie is the music which is a mix of African and Brazilian beats which makes the movie even more dramatic!! I would love to tell the whole plot of the movie but I can't becaue I am urging people to watch this movie!! This movie will show people a different side of the Brazil which is known for its beautiful beaches, great music, food, and of course its people! These people are not the people that tourists see these are the actual struggles for many people living in Brazil! The director of City of God did a fantastic job showing the gritty side of a beautiful place!